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Katie's Journal

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

6:46PM - Fear

fear and truth are incongruent
like wearing your snowsuit to winter in Florida
something's gotta give

If I want to live in truth
I cannot hide in fear

fear of judgement
fear of pain
fear of lies

all valid reasons I'm sure
but what was I hiding?
The truth?

This is who I am
This is my life
These are my thoughts

my mistakes
my lessons
my gains and losses

to be vulnerable is scary
to live in truth is scary
but growth is necessary

So for today
my step forward
was to stop hiding in fear

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

11:34AM - A post for Jeff...

I told Jeff that I would make a lj post just for him...so here it is.  Hope this makes your day Jeff :-P
I don't really have anything interesting to report on...
Kaeden is growing and learning and creating laughter each and every day.  He's pretty much the most hilarious person I know.  If Jeff wasn't a vampire then maybe he would actually see Kaeden more than once a year. (Just kidding Jeff).
School is okay...nothing super exciting there.  It's nice to be learning again, but I haven't really met very many people yet.  It's werid being in classes with a bunch of 18 year olds.  I didn't like 18 year olds when I was one...
It's freezing out today.
The cold makes me anxious.
I should probably put on some socks.
Perhaps I will do the year in review thing that I've done every year on lj.  
That could be interesting.
2007 wasn't really that great of a year as far as years go.  I will be happy when it's over.  
One good thing did come out of 2007 though and that is Amelia, my neice.  Oh my I love her so.  She's just a bundle of sweetness.
I can't wait until I get to do auntie things with her....like baking and going out for lunch and shopping...fun stuff like that.
Okay, so I found the review thing that I did last year, let's give it a shot...

2007Collapse )

And now that I am done, I think I will go work on my essay.  
btw Jeff....  Aerlie and I are really looking forward to being cooked for.  Mandy too :-P

Current mood: drained

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

5:37PM - 2006 in Review

1.) Where did you ring in 2006?
At my mom's playing games with Andy and my sisters

2.) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
In a relationship

3.) Were you in school (anytime this year)?

4.) How did you earn your keep?
I worked at the dreaded YA

5.) Did you ever have to go to the hospital?
When I had Kaeden...

6.) Have you ever encountered the police?
Not in 2006

7.) Where did you go on vacation?
Fort Frances, Dryden and Toronto to visit Aerlie (yay)

8.)What did you purchase that was over $500?
My hydro deposit was over $500...does that count?

9.) Did you know anybody who got married?

10.) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Not that I can remember

11.) Have you run into anybody you graduated high school with?
yes tons of people, like most of my friends lol

12.) Did you move anywhere?
I moved down the street and around the corner

13.) What sporting events did you go to?
LU hockey games

14.) What concerts did you go to?
I went to some comedy thing, but no music concerts

15.) Are you registered to vote?

16.) If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7?
I'm not american, so no...I didn't vote on nov 7th. I didn't vote in the city election either because I was in Toronto

17.) Where do you live now?
Thunder Bay

18.) Describe your birthday.
I drove to Dryden. Nothing really exciting.

19.) What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
Had a baby :-P There are a lot of things that I said I would never do and have. Most of them I'm not proud of.

20.) What is one thing you regretted this year?
The winner

21.) What's something you learned about yourself?
I'm lovable

22.) Any new additions to your family?
My son

23.) What was your best month?

24.) What, from pop culture, will you remember 2006 by?
The end of Brit and K-Fed

25.) How would you rate this year with a scale from 1-10?

Saturday, December 16, 2006


Would it be inappropriate 
to scream at the top of my lungs
to throw things
punch at walls 
rip pillows
to curse
to tell people off
to lash out
oh so hurt

how do I convince myself that I matter
when my brain takes the actions of others
twists them around
then points at me and laughs
ha ha ha
stupid fool
YOU thought that you mattered
that they actually cared
fucking retard
words mean nothing
they come from the same place as 

I feel so destructive
I want to tear off my skin
drive into oncoming traffic
smash everything in my reach
pull out my hair
make everyone close go far far away
I want you to hate me like I hate myself
take every wound and make it a

Sunday, December 10, 2006

10:38PM - Christmas Wish List

Linda requested that we all do one of these and I thought that it might be a fun distraction...
The Rules

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1.  Season One and Two of Grey's Anatomy on DVD

2.  Help hanging up my pictures so that they go in the right place and are level

3.  A cream or off white scarf

4.  Cookbooks so that I can get inspired

5.  A whisk  (Seems like a silly wish, but I can never seem to buy one....I always find some reason to put it back).

6.  A night of games with friends...  So many of my happy memories involve a night of games and I really would like to create somemore this holiday season.  Going somewhere to play pool or bowl would also be fun. 

7.  A day planner so that I can keep track of my lie :-p

8.  For someone to take me to the movies.  I have seen three movies in the theater in the last year and a half, and I love going to the show.

9.  Something big....Tickets to see something interesting and fun at the auditorium.  Second to that...a night out, and a reason to get dressed up a little.

10.  A mixed CD full of songs that I love

Merry Christmas! 

Current mood: grateful

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

11:38PM - My Baby!! :-D

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

12:03AM - Oh what news...

Kaeden cut his frist tooth today during his afternoon nap.  This morning it was still below the gum and this afternoon he bit on my finger and for the first time it hurt :-p  

My baby is growing up *pouty face*

Sunday, August 27, 2006

10:27PM - I'm pretty much in love with this kid...

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I miss books.  The last couple of books that I read were about pregnancy and babies.  I miss stories.  I miss having the time to read :-P

I could pick up a book now, and there are a few that I really want to read, but earlier tonight I fell asleep holding Kaeden at the kitchen table...so I don't hold much hope that I could get through more than the first line or two of a book.

I guess for now, atleast until I get more sleep, I will have to settle with reading books to Kaeden. 

Thursday, August 3, 2006


Ryan, Linda, Mary and Steve called me last night just before midnight and then at midnight sang me happy birthday.  It was the single most touching thing that I can remember happening for a long time.  When I answered the phone and heard Ryan's voice I almost started to cry.  Quite often these days I don't feel like I really deserve to keep the friends that I have and so I really don't even have words to say how much it meant to me that they thought to call.
Thanks Guys...  
I love you

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Kaeden is two weeks old today.  It's hard to believe that it has been two weeks already.  He had a doctor's appointment today and he now weighs 9 lbs.  I have so much fun watching him sleep.  He makes the most adorable faces and sounds.  I think that it is safe to say that I have fallen in love with my baby. 

One thing that I have noticed since becoming a mother is how differently world events are affecting me.  I have a hard time watching the news these days with so much going on.  It's not just my world that this is happening in now, it is also my son's world.  This is a scary and turbulent time to be bringing a child into the world.  Although, as my mother told me last night, people have said the same thing during every decade that she can remember. 

I am really beginning to look forward to Aerlie's visit.  I'm beyond excited to go meet her at the airport.  Kaeden already has his outfit picked out for when he meets Auntie Aerlie.  The outfit has actually been picked since before he was even born.  He will be one month old on the day that she gets into town. 

That's about all that I have to report on right now.  Sorry, not very interesting, but let's keep in mind that my days do consist of diapers, formula, and baby needs.  Combine that with a lack of sleep and I'm amazed that I can even type a sentence still.  :-P

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

7:52PM - It's a Boy!

Kaeden Joshua Andrew
July 12th, 2006
8 lbs 3 3/4 oz
20 1/2 inches

Monday, July 10, 2006


Still playing the waiting game. I'm getting to the point of wanting to get this show on the road already. Maybe shopping today will do the trick.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


After today is over I only have 8 days of work left...
This is a beautiful thing.

Wednesday, June 7, 2006


Well countdown to baby has begun. Tomorrow will be one month until my "due" date. I'm getting really scared and excited. The baby's room should be finished this weekend as long as it doesn't poor on saturday. My dad is coming over, and he and Andy are going to put oak flooring down in the room. Andy is painting the room yellow with white trim. I'm excited to see the finished product, and anxious for the final pieces to fall into place. The crib is set up, and the change table and dresser will be set up after the floor is done. Then the curtains can go up, the clothes can fill the drawers, and the diapers can go in the change table. All that will be left to do is sit back and wait for baby to make it's grand appearance.
I'm not going to just assume that all of you want to know that the baby has been born and what the sex was, so if you do want an email just leave me a comment or send me an email and I'll make sure that you get on the list.
Mary, if you are reading this...we should get that pool going.
That's about all I have brain power for this evening.

Saturday, March 25, 2006


So I have this little problem of no truck. My dad is going to be out of town next weekend, and I don't know anyone else with a truck. I think that everything other than my bed and dresser can be moved without a truck, but I really don't want to have to leave my bed behind :-P
Dose anyone know anyone who would lend them a truck next weekend? Depending on the size of the truck it would be for no more than two loads, around the corner and down the street.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Does anyone want to donate airmiles to the Aerlie needs to come to Thunder Bay in May to go to duluth trip?

Sunday, January 29, 2006


I got a fish. His name is George. It was going to be Aerlie, but he is a boy fish. So unless Aerlie doesn't like the name he will be George. Aerlie has weird rules about naming fish :-P
Brie wants to eat the fish and Fia keeps eating the Lily on top of the vase that the fish is in. Nicholz just wants to know what all the fuss is about and why the attention is not on him.
Hopefully they can all learn to get along and stop trying to eat various parts of the fish thing.
What else?
I planted herbs on the weekend. Rosemary and Basil. My first attempt at anything plant like since sometime around gr. 3. I hope they sprut. I'm going to use them in cooking.
I also made an apple cake yesterday with my mom. It turned out very lovely. Oh so fluffy. I even used a special pan. It was fun.
Then I watched What's Eating Gilbert Grape with my mom, came home, went to sleep.
Today I went to the Pita Pit. Jeff and Aerlie would be so proud.
And that my friends is the extent of my exciting life.
One more thing... I really want to go to a movie some day. Anyone interested?

Saturday, January 14, 2006


How come nobody told me that Steve cut his hair?

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